Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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