New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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