are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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