Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
