I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
