dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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