I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
