Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
