oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
