I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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