At least make sure they are 18
Why
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
