could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
