i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
