My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
