Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
