why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
