I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
