sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
