I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
