there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're too hungover to prance.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
