hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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