I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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