90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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