this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
