the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
