my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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