just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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