Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
