Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
