I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
