Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize