I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
