hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
