one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
