No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
