so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
