i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
