He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The air was thick with penises
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
