I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry about my life...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
