yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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