Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
