Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
