Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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