my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is Oprah even human
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
