I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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