mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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