The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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