My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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