Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize