He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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