just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I currently don't understand fingers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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