U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
