Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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