I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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