With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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