Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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