Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
