I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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