Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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