Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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