think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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