I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
