Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
