I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
