Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
