before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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