i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
