you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
