his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize